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Post by JonesInAMillion on Jul 27, 2014 23:06:35 GMT
Following on from the knife thread, Every man needs a decent torch. Here's mine, does about 900 lumens from x4 AAs....  Always liked led lensers but aspire to this beauty next time I have a couple of hundred quid spare...  Yer conner beat a good torch. |
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Post by Shiny Nosehair on Jul 27, 2014 23:15:13 GMT
I have a ridiculous oversized 20th century fox style fucking eye shredder, however, I've had a few to many and can't be fucked to find out what it is
Stay tuned for tomorrow's exciting news kids!
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Post by JonesInAMillion on Jul 27, 2014 23:18:25 GMT
The dick measuring contest commences!
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Post by Shiny Nosehair on Jul 27, 2014 23:19:48 GMT
Fuck, you really gonna make me find it tonight? I'm ball bagged!
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Post by RickyFullerBeer on Jul 28, 2014 5:36:18 GMT
I like then big fuck off torches with the handles
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Post by Pretty Little Boother on Jul 28, 2014 12:15:07 GMT
 Maglite, motherfuckers. Heavy and durable as hell. |
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Post by Tom'sViews on Jul 28, 2014 19:38:55 GMT
I have one of those wind-up torches which are good because no batteries are required, but at the same time shit as they don't illuminate anything.
Also I have one which I brought several years ago on a primary school trip to Warwick Castle, it has a little picture of the castle on the side and everything.
So therefore I believe that I can now declare myself the winner of this dick measuring contest.
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Post by Time4aPINT on Jul 28, 2014 20:16:22 GMT
I've bloody lost my torch. It's a small lightweight LED one. I guess the disadvantage of being small is that it's harder to find.
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Post by JonesInAMillion on Jul 28, 2014 20:46:54 GMT
I've bloody lost my torch. It's a small lightweight LED one. I guess the disadvantage of being small is that it's harder to find. And if it's in a dark place, you don't have a torch to search for it with. |
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Post by Time4aPINT on Jul 28, 2014 21:05:50 GMT
I've bloody lost my torch. It's a small lightweight LED one. I guess the disadvantage of being small is that it's harder to find. And if it's in a dark place, you don't have a torch to search for it with. What I really need is a voice activated torch. If it lights up on command then I just need to say the words 'let their be light motherfucker' and everything is bright. If nobody has had that idea yet then it's got to be a 'Red and White Lion' day out to Dragon's Den. |
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Post by JonesInAMillion on Jul 28, 2014 21:18:16 GMT
And if it's in a dark place, you don't have a torch to search for it with. What I really need is a voice activated torch. If it lights up on command then I just need to say the words 'let their be light motherfucker' and everything is bright. If nobody has had that idea yet then it's got to be a 'Red and White Lion' day out to Dragon's Den. This fucker probably does, or should do for three hundred sheets. The nitecore tiny monster (torch porn)  |
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Post by The Funkasaurus on Jul 28, 2014 21:21:10 GMT
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Post by Time4aPINT on Jul 28, 2014 21:26:07 GMT
^^^ we have a winner! ^^^
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Post by Campervan Von Bigglesworth on Jul 29, 2014 12:09:49 GMT
I have a maglite rip off, one of the big ones, if it works as a torch, bonus, as its actually for clonking people with. Possibly back garden intruders.
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Post by JonesInAMillion on Aug 14, 2014 19:41:33 GMT
It's broken  Written to the manufacturers but I'm already eyeing up Replacment / upgrade... |
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Post by PoisonedMonkey on Aug 14, 2014 23:08:35 GMT
I've just torched my wife!!! The stupid fucking splitarse......she deserved it!
Sorry, I didn't get chance to take an pics as I was laughing too much and couldn't breathe through the smoke!
That'll learn the stupid flatdick!
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Post by One-Two on Aug 15, 2014 23:00:50 GMT
Was going to post a picture of a fleshlight. Some advice - never search for them on Google images.
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Post by Shiny Nosehair on Aug 17, 2014 15:52:04 GMT
My over the top thing Apparently 1 candle power roughly equates to 12.5 lumen, although the two aren't directly comparable. Anyhoo, it's fucking bright  |
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Post by JonesInAMillion on Aug 21, 2014 18:36:35 GMT
Fuckerty fuck. My torch has just been superseded... Shine a light!An extra 100 lumens, that's a lot of torch for £55. |
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Post by The Turtle on Aug 22, 2014 14:16:34 GMT
Ah, the Potters crest duvet cover, my lad's got the same on his bed. Excellent work, Shiny. Was checking the online shop this morning. Tempted to get the wife one of these for Crimbo, not sure if she'll like it but to be honest, I don't care ;D  |
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