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Post by The Swahili Bastardizers on Jun 30, 2011 21:55:38 GMT
From a Mrs Carolyn Bourne, 60 to a Miss Heidi Withers, 29
It is high time someone explained to you about good manners. Yours are obvious by their absence and I feel sorry for you.
Unfortunately for Freddie, he has fallen in love with you and Freddie being Freddie, I gather it is not easy to reason with him or yet encourage him to consider how he might be able to help you.
It may just be possible to get through to you though. I do hope so.
Your behaviour on your visit to Devon during April was staggering in its uncouthness and lack of grace.
Unfortunately, this was not the first example of bad manners I have experienced from you.
If you want to be accepted by the wider Bourne family I suggest you take some guidance from experts with utmost haste.
There are plenty of finishing schools around. You would be an ideal candidate for the Ladette to Lady television series.
Please, for your own good, for Freddie's sake and for your future involvement with the Bourne family, do something as soon as possible.
Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:
When you are a guest in another's house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat - unless you are positively allergic to something.
You do not remark that you do not have enough food.
You do not start before everyone else.
You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.
When a guest in another's house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early - you fall in line with house norms.
You should never ever insult the family you are about to join at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather you passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter.
I have no idea whether you wrote to thank [your future sister-in-law] for the weekend but you should have hand-written a card to her.
You should have hand-written a card to me. You have never written to thank me when you have stayed at Houndspool.
[Your future sister-in-law] has quite the most exquisite manners of anyone I have ever come across. You would do well to follow her example.
You regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps you should ask yourself why.
It is tragic that you have diabetes. However, you aren't the only young person in the world who is a diabetic.
I know quite a few young people who have this condition, one of whom is getting married in June. I have never heard her discuss her condition.
She quietly gets on with it. She doesn't like being diabetic. Who would? You do not need to regale everyone with the details of your condition or use it as an excuse to draw attention to yourself. It is vulgar.
As a diabetic of long standing you must be acutely aware of the need to prepare yourself for extraordinary eventualities, the walk to Mothecombe beach being an example.
You are experienced enough to have prepared yourself appropriately.
No-one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.
I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters' marriages.)
If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.
One could be accused of thinking that Heidi Withers must be patting herself on the back for having caught a most eligible young man. I pity Freddie.
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Post by ProudPotter17 on Jun 30, 2011 22:01:12 GMT
I get the feeling this "Freddie" is an right ugly fucker. (This wasn't an Email sent to you, was it Gaz? ( ![:-[](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/embarrassed.png) )
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Post by spunkbubble on Jun 30, 2011 22:04:26 GMT
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Post by PoisonedMonkey on Jun 30, 2011 22:12:19 GMT
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Post by BusterHighman on Jun 30, 2011 22:15:06 GMT
I'd fuck him to get to her
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Post by MermaidSal on Jun 30, 2011 22:17:49 GMT
Oh dear, Mrs Bourne (daren't call her Carolyn without a personal introduction) sounds quite sensible to me ![::)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/eyesroll.png) ;D I am going to be SUCH an evil mother-in-law
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Post by Bayernoatcake on Jul 1, 2011 0:02:14 GMT
The Mum looks like a right dragon, stuck up bitch.
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Post by rhodesy on Jul 1, 2011 1:03:32 GMT
Oh dear, Mrs Bourne (daren't call her Carolyn without a personal introduction) sounds quite sensible to me ![::)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/eyesroll.png) ;D I am going to be SUCH an evil mother-in-law I read it, and genuinely the mother-in-law is right. All these things are discourteous and you wouldn't do it in your future in laws home. The bint needs to be taught manners, well done mother-in-law.
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Post by spunkbubble on Jul 1, 2011 5:29:44 GMT
Of course there's a certain etiquitte to observe when visting your future in-laws for the first time, thank god they live on the edge of wigan near some quiet woodland even if it was almost snowing ;D
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Post by aworldofmyown on Jul 1, 2011 7:21:29 GMT
The Mum looks like a right dragon, stuck up bitch. I'd fuck her, and the young girl, at the same time hopefully
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Post by Nyron Nonceworthy on Jul 1, 2011 8:06:12 GMT
Whilst some of the things she says are obviously very right, the old bitch comes across as a right stuck up fucknugget. The girl is obviously used to a different class of life and she's using that as something to talk down to her with.
She sounds like a snooty bitch of the worst kind, who turn their nose up at anybody who isn't as well-off as they are.
If I were the future daughter in law, I'd piss and shit all over her fucking house the next time I visited. I'd also get her oh-so precious and perfect daughter and fucking smash her face through a pane of glass. Basically, I'd go fucking ape shit.
The DIL can improve on her manners, no doubt but the MIL needs to improve much, much more. She's probably married into some rich family and think she's the dog's fucking bollocks. Well fuck off, you wrinkly fucking wanker. Take your well-written insults and shove them up your saggy, old arse.
If your son wants to be with her, then that's his prerogative. Maybe he loves her? Maybe a polite word with the both of them might've worked but, no, you've decided she's not good enough for him and sent a bastarding E-mail because she helped herself to a few more fucking carrots and probably told a dirty joke at the pub.
Knob off, you shithouse. People so up their own arses really fuck me off. I prefer heroin addicts.
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Post by Bojantastic on Jul 1, 2011 11:32:01 GMT
She's right about the manners, but the stuff about her parents' wealth is out of order and pathetic IMO. ![8-)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/cool.png)
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Post by whydelilah on Jul 1, 2011 11:43:27 GMT
Sounds like the Mother-in-Law needs a good length, uptight bitch.
If I was the woman in question I'd send her an email back: -
Hi Carol,
Thanks for the email. I've read through your points and I honestly couldn't give a shit.
Your son is with me cus I'm a filthy bitch and he loves fucking me up the arse. Perhaps you could get Mr Bourne to give you a good seeing too every now and then, perhaps then you'd lighten up you stuck up bitch.
Anyway, can't stop, I'm off to suck your sons cock.
Get fucked,
Slut Whore
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Post by Nyron Nonceworthy on Jul 1, 2011 11:47:01 GMT
Sounds like the Mother-in-Law needs a good length, uptight bitch. If I was the woman in question I'd send her an email back: - Hi Carol, Thanks for the email. I've read through your points and I honestly couldn't give a shit. Your son is with me cus I'm a filthy bitch and he loves fucking me up the arse. Perhaps you could get Mr Bourne to give you a good seeing too every now and then, perhaps then you'd lighten up you stuck up bitch. Anyway, can't stop, I'm off to suck your sons cock. Get fucked, Slut Whore ;D ;D ;D
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