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Post by JonesInAMillion on Dec 13, 2016 18:25:47 GMT
Tjr boy (3yo) asked earlier "how are stars made"? Best I could offer was that they are just planets' that have been set on fire. Just now.... " daddy, have you ever died?"  |
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Post by RickyFullerBeer on Dec 13, 2016 22:18:05 GMT
Just now.... " daddy, have you ever died?" Fucking brilliant ;D |
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Post by JonesInAMillion on Dec 13, 2016 23:03:59 GMT
Just now.... " daddy, have you ever died?" Fucking brilliant ;D Being a Hindu, I just meowed and went for a piss. |
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Post by Campervan Von Bigglesworth on Dec 13, 2016 23:15:45 GMT
Tjr boy (3yo) asked earlier "how are stars made"? Best I could offer was that they are just planets' that have been set on fire. Just now.... " daddy, have you ever died?" Just tell him the truth how dust rich stellar nurseries lead to the formation of accretion discs which eventually collapse under their own weight so that the gravitational wavefronts generate sufficient temperature and pressure to kickstart and sustain a fusion reaction |
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Post by Campervan Von Bigglesworth on Dec 13, 2016 23:16:37 GMT
You might also point out women's tits are ace
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Post by JonesInAMillion on Dec 15, 2016 22:05:43 GMT
Taken my two to the school disco this event, fucking chaos!
Anyway, I was just sitting there minding my own when this little girl (about two with cross eyes) walked straight up to me and asked....
"Why have you got those eyebrows on your face?"
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Post by RickyFullerBeer on Dec 15, 2016 22:47:28 GMT
Paxman-esque!
I fucking love kids (not in the Barry Bennell sense). They are properly thick.
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Post by Time4aPINT on Dec 16, 2016 14:33:34 GMT
Taken my two to the school disco this event, fucking chaos! Anyway, I was just sitting there minding my own when this little girl (about two with cross eyes) walked straight up to me and asked.... "Why have you got those eyebrows on your face?" Good question, why have you got those eyebrows on your face? We need to know. Actually, what the fuck do eyebrows do, why has evolution left us with hairy bits above our eyes? |
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Post by Campervan Von Bigglesworth on Dec 16, 2016 17:31:11 GMT
Trying to get Finn to go to bed by threatening to cut the power to his Wii. "I'll have a fucking shitting stroke if you do that" was his witty riposte
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Post by JonesInAMillion on Dec 16, 2016 18:36:34 GMT
Trying to get Finn to go to bed by threatening to cut the power to his Wii. "I'll have a fucking shitting stroke if you do that" was his witty riposte As lomg as Finn is over 3 years old, I'd say that's a fucking shitting good response! |
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Post by EnricoPalazzo on Dec 17, 2016 13:41:34 GMT
You might also point out women's tits are ace I concur |
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Post by JonesInAMillion on Dec 19, 2016 22:51:46 GMT
The boy pulled me up on an aged mistruth earlier, told him we'd make snowmen when it's Christmas and he called it in today... Despite there being no snow!
"But I've been good daddy... And can I have the two presents back that Santa is keeping from when I was naughty?"
Brilliant!
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Post by Campervan Von Bigglesworth on Dec 19, 2016 23:46:05 GMT
Tell him your mummy keeps them in her jumper
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Post by Northy on Dec 21, 2016 9:55:35 GMT
dad, my car has gone wrong again, can I have some money  |
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Post by Campervan Von Bigglesworth on Dec 21, 2016 10:15:09 GMT
Tell him to watch Wheeler Dealers and work out how to fix it himself.
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Post by Northy on Dec 21, 2016 11:30:14 GMT
if only, i got a call on saturday morning saying he couldnt get his car to start, the key wouldnt turn, I asked him if the crook lock was on, he said 'whats that' I did try and teach him.
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Post by Campervan Von Bigglesworth on Dec 21, 2016 12:17:57 GMT
Kids today. Does he wipe his arse before he pulls his pants back up???
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Post by Northy on Dec 21, 2016 12:30:35 GMT
hopefully, he's a veggie, probably like a splattering hippo
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Post by RickyFullerBeer on Dec 21, 2016 12:31:44 GMT
if only, i got a call on saturday morning saying he couldnt get his car to start, the key wouldnt turn, I asked him if the crook lock was on, he said 'whats that' I did try and teach him. Honestly, I thought my car was fucked when I first passed and got my car. Took me 10 minutes of just messing about to realise it was the lock, which I'd never heard of! |
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Post by Campervan Von Bigglesworth on Dec 21, 2016 14:37:53 GMT
I once, whilst in my early 20's. got an astra as a courtesy car while mine was being fixed and I parked against a wall then couldnt make it go into reverse. I had to spend ages waiting for an stra driver to come back and tell me the clue. There is a helmet ridge thing on the gear knob you had to lift to engage reverse. I could still be sat there now, as I'd never have worked it out!
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