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Post by Northy on Jul 6, 2017 16:02:44 GMT
just wasted fuck loads of fresh, clean water drenching my lawn and its going to piss down tomorrow  it hasnt yet you need to buy that rain garden from Hampton |
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Post by Campervan Von Bigglesworth on Jul 11, 2017 9:56:08 GMT
The new au pair is so ginourmous, her pants are the same size of a Phantoms drag chute.
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Post by Northy on Jul 11, 2017 12:16:03 GMT
The new au pair is so ginourmous, her pants are the same size of a Phantoms drag chute. That's shattered all of our dreams  |
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Post by Northy on Sept 18, 2017 9:14:15 GMT
Ryanair cancelling loads of flights, fookin Oirish cunts
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Post by JonesInAMillion on Sept 18, 2017 20:53:09 GMT
no 230v socket by the hotel bedside table; 3 opposite but theyre woth the square route of fuck all.
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Post by Northy on Sept 19, 2017 7:45:12 GMT
no 230v socket by the hotel bedside table; 3 opposite but theyre woth the square route of fuck all. that happens a lot, even in newer hotels, shocking standards |
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Post by Time4aPINT on Sept 19, 2017 9:19:19 GMT
no 230v socket by the hotel bedside table; 3 opposite but theyre woth the square route of fuck all. that happens a lot, even in newer hotels, shocking standards You'll both have to start packing an extension lead. |
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Post by Northy on Sept 21, 2017 8:58:50 GMT
that happens a lot, even in newer hotels, shocking standards You'll both have to start packing an extension lead. Is that a euphanism  |
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Post by Time4aPINT on Feb 13, 2019 12:06:19 GMT
My train was five minutes late. This was only a problem because I only ordered half a pint in the train station bar. Had I have known in advance that the train would be a few minutes late then I would have had time for a pint!
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Post by Time4aPINT on Feb 13, 2019 12:19:59 GMT
Also 'google assistant' has just sent a notification to my phone to remind me that I am due to catch a train 20 minutes ago.
On the ball you motherfucker...
Good job I'm old school and don't rely on shit like that...
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Post by Campervan Von Bigglesworth on Feb 13, 2019 15:18:28 GMT
That there Siri is shit. If I ask it a question, I don't want it to say "this is what I've found" and give me web links, I want the silly cunt to tell me. I can bloody do google myself.
And another thing, there should be an app called "Emergency Petrol" which satnavs you to the nearest petrol station, in the direction of travel with a mileage. A list of petrol stations when I don't how far away in which direction they are is no use!
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Post by Time4aPINT on Feb 13, 2019 15:59:40 GMT
Get designing that petrol station app.
Go on Dragon's Den tell them they are all cunts and then when they don't invest use a bank loan to fund the development. Sell the rights to a Satnav company or google maps for £1million.
Easy...
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Post by Campervan Von Bigglesworth on Feb 14, 2019 21:14:55 GMT
I'm sure someone must have done it already, I'm sure. I've prayed for it often enough
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Post by Northy on Feb 15, 2019 10:54:36 GMT
I'm sure someone must have done it already, I'm sure. I've prayed for it often enough we have them with the car leasing company, tells you where all the supermarkets and garages are you can use your fuel card at. |
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Post by Campervan Von Bigglesworth on Feb 15, 2019 15:18:26 GMT
It should be simple, here in Ireland-land, motorway services are scarce and usually absent, particularly on the Dublin to Cork route, so I'm going along on vapour and ask google maps to find me a garage, but it just puts up a list and asks me to select one, instead of doing what I want and selecting the one that I can get too in the last amount of miles bearing in mind my direction of travel, likewise Siri should do the same, I always end up telling her to suck my balls.
Another good invention would be a bad tempered australian man doing the voice to your satnav, where it starts to insult you if you go a different way "Oi sed turn right you stupid baarstad"
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Post by happycarrot on Feb 16, 2019 13:55:18 GMT
It should be simple, here in Ireland-land, motorway services are scarce and usually absent, particularly on the Dublin to Cork route, so I'm going along on vapour and ask google maps to find me a garage, but it just puts up a list and asks me to select one, instead of doing what I want and selecting the one that I can get too in the last amount of miles bearing in mind my direction of travel, likewise Siri should do the same, I always end up telling her to suck my balls. Another good invention would be a bad tempered australian man doing the voice to your satnav, where it starts to insult you if you go a different way "Oi sed turn right you stupid baarstad" Wasn't so long ago there were no motorways and terribly signed A roads took you to the wrong County. I remember heading on the Drogheda/Dundalk rd from Dublin only to realise was half way to Cork. |
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Post by Northy on Aug 15, 2019 11:00:17 GMT
Came into the office this morning as after 5 years my old laptop is being replaced for a new one with Windows 10.
Logged in at home this morning fine, gets to the office and the hard drive crashes, 1 fookin hour before I'm booked in to have the swap over, after 5 years it couldn't wait 1 hour for me to delete my search history the little shit 😉
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Post by Time4aPINT on Aug 15, 2019 11:43:42 GMT
Came into the office this morning as after 5 years my old laptop is being replaced for a new one with Windows 10. Logged in at home this morning fine, gets to the office and the hard drive crashes, 1 fookin hour before I'm booked in to have the swap over, after 5 years it couldn't wait 1 hour for me to delete my search history the little shit 😉 It knows its time is up and it has decided to take you down aswell. |
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